You have just joined the Black Bean Culture and in here, we are talking about Kindness. A word defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate. I just thought being kind was being generous but I like that well rounded definition. It demands more from people. I just wonder how much that will cost.
That will be $3.99.
I just held the door open for you. That will be $3.99.
Okay, that might be over reacting but most of you know what I am talking about. Perhaps you have heard someone say, “this is how they repay me?” to a done me wrong incident or maybe you just know someone who constantly reminds you how much they have done for you. Whatever it is, it feels like there is always a price to a good deed even if it is your sanity.
True kindness has become so rare. Most people see being kind as a quota they have to meet to be considered a decent human-being or to make it into some end of life prize. It should be something you are, instead of something you need to be or do but I know its easier said than done.
A couple of days ago, I was in my car stuck in a two hour traffic as the good city of LA is known to have. Two times I tried to get in front of a cars and made eye contact in trying to do so. Both of these cars acknowledged my existence and refused to let me in. I was so shocked. I know LA drivers are known for this kind of thing–speeding up when you signal, cut you off and so on but all of that is done with a level of ignorance. You can’t let someone in if you never saw them. I never encountered an in your face assholism before. I am the type of person who will feel guilty all day for doing shit like that. Look I get it, your tired, it has been a long day and you just want to get home but the point is to stay consistent. You want to exercise kindness even in less ideal situations. Consistency is something I have been struggling with myself.
I have heard of many arguments about why some of us don’t always act in a kind manner. One, I don’t always feel like it. Two, others don’t treat me as well as I treat them (this one is mine). Three, no one else is doing it.
I call BULLSHIT!!
What everyone else is doing is irrelevant, this is about you. Kindness is not a tit for tat kind of thing. It’s not that deep. It doesn’t take anything from you but maybe time? Even taking time benefits you. It slows you down enough to enjoy the moment, maybe catch your breath in the middle of a busy day and it feels good to do good.
I saw a quote earlier this week that hit home.
Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? -Rumi
That can be applied to your actions too. I am working on being kind on a consistent level. I don’t want to be in a hurry and forget to be kind. I don’t want to forget to be kind because I am only thinking about myself and most of all I never want to keep score even if other people are.
Kindness should be free or at least cheap!
Think about how you can spread more free kindness. Think about it like the people who hold signs or wear shirts that says, “FREE HUGS!!” Just hand it out. I promise it’s worth it.
Peace, Love & Black Beans