You have just joined the Black Bean Culture and in here, we are talking about picking our battles. Life is like a boxing match, you need to know when to strike and when to block.
Which one are you? The striker or the blocker?
It is important to be both.
I am the striker but I am learning to be the blocker. I have always believed that people should speak up and call people out when they are wrong. I never realized that sometimes a good block is good for the heart and mind. Confrontation just leaves you drained and takes up too much head space, at least if your one of those people who like to fixate on one thing.
Snarky people are like sharks: they circle then attack. Sometimes you’re circled by a family member who doesn’t even know they’re saying something mean, rude or hurtful. Hurt people, hurt people. I realized too late that my response is my choice.
I don’t need to respond. I can choose to direct love and good vibes their way. Now, I know it is easier said then done. I certainly know a handful of people who know how to push the right buttons. That is when I give people the benefit of the doubt and believe that they don’t mean to hurt me.. Sometimes choosing to be naive helps ease the wounds. Also, having a ritual helps. Whatever gets you in the forgiving stage, maybe eat a slice of cake–who doesn’t like cake.
Nevertheless, I wish I had learned this long ago it would have helped me avoid certain fights, ease my over thinking brain and saved me some heartache.
You see a good block may hurt a little but at least by the time it gets to you heart, it will be a mere sting. However, I also understand that when needed, a good strike is beneficial for personal growth. The decision to chose one over the other lies in if the situation is a threat to your core beliefs. Know what your core beliefs are and you will save yourself a boxing match.
Peace, Love & Black Beans